Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The choice to be beautiful.



Haha. I bet these pictures are really confusing you guys.

To Oberstienburg I go!

...or not
cuz this weird guy groped me in the woods
and I got lost
alot
and never made it there.

Hm.

Not to mention my ex fiance wrote me to tell me he likes another girl and dosen't love me anymore. And sent me a song about her. (which I deleted, refusing to listen to it)

It's been a really fun day. I think I'm a little....what's the word....tired

of being alone. Or as Lessi Giggle says "misses having friends" I think I'm going to make a new rule called "Never Hike Alone"

what do you all think?! Man it is weird when your mind is rushing and outside, paradise swirls in reality.

.:.:.

Rivers of No and Goodbye

I invited the mountain to dinner tonight. We sat facing each other over a plate of fried vegetables and sausage. While eating, I noticed a castle formation of boulders towards the upper left eyebrow of the largest river (which is seen outside my window). I realized that I used to look at the mountain, but I finally have started to see it. We spoke as we always do:

-tastes like real vegetables huh?

-yes

-mighty fine dinner you're having

-yes. thank-you. for. growing it.

-it's rough sometimes, being a mountain'

-I'll bet. It's rough a lot too, being a human.

Silently, we both decided we wouldn't trade. But, the mountain tends to hear everything I say, even silently. I am reminded of the transcendentalists, or my study of Buddhism, or my trip with Craig Childs. I want to want to do nothing, as I chew the tastiest and softest potato.

-wow

-wow

-ow

-ow

-go

-I will

-good job

-thanks

-thank-you.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-give

-

-give

- I know

-give

-K

-give

-How?

- What does 'how' mean?

- Um, oh. I guess 'how' means....what happens just before a waterfall.

-oh. Say 'Hello'

Amazed, I thought of every spider web I'd ever seen. I thought of my niece's eyes.

-Is that what the water says to the rocks, before it finds a place to fall?

-Of course.

Then, the creature of truth told me a story:
Long ago, before stars had stories, and babies were given names, I had to make a choice. The choice looks simple on paper: whether or not to be beautiful. Beauty, isn't always pretty, and paradise doubly so. Beauty isn't easy. I heard this from the ocean, sky, and trees. If I chose beauty, it involved inviting every landscape into my vessels. Not every rock would fall into place in the rock face. In cold winters, parts of my brain would be numbed. When avalanches fell, loved ones would come with it. Still, I made the choice to be beautiful. The only thing that differentiates you from a snail, is your choice not to be a snail. Choices are the only things that glow in the dark. I choose to be beautiful.

There wasn't breath left to be taken away.

-I did this by saying hello to every living thing

It was the best dinner I have ever had. But I couldn't not ask, about the cruelty. About the pieces of trash I pick up, even from Alpine slopes. About sad faces drawn on little children, and the hardest, the people who didn't choose anything at all. I smiled, but had to wonder, in a very American like way, how it could say hello to things that caused harm.

-
what abou-

-that's, what the rivers are for.





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