Just tell me!

Lesson learned today: Check all stoves before grabbing on to them.

:( Ow.

(It's a little hard to type, not to mention finish the kitchen). I guess lessons can be taught by cruelty, I already knew that...but that doesn't make it moral.
It's a rainy sunday. I guess most of the Gimmelwalders are Protestant. Awesome. I would be very surprised if they didn't believe in God. here.
Two travelers i have talked to lately referred to taking pictures as "documenting"..weird. I call it. Making art. Anyways. Last night some beautiful soul left 'free pasta' (cooked!) for hungry people to eat. So I ate it and the next morning I learned that Andrew had written "clean up after yourself you lazy shit" and subsequently started an entire method of conversation with this person. Not conversation. Argument. Dollies, I was just glad to have free food. It's a rainy Sunday and next week I will ask Petra if I can have some time off to go to church. There is a girl here who has lost all her money, and she tells everybody that. In fact, she tells everyone here everything. In a way, because I am complaining-I am jealous of the fact that she is such a talker. Because I am being appreciative, it bothers me for some reason. I think she reminds me of what I was like when I was fourteen. On 12 seconds past 2 o 'clock every day, I wonder what it would have been like if i had experienced this place....when I was in the same state that I was as 14. A tinge more pure. A hundred forks less wise. I wonder if a cup of wiseness has anything to do with an ounce of sheer joy. I've had nightmares the last three nights I've been here. Today the fog visits the mountain. When the mountain is covered in fog. I love it. I think it's something the creature of truth and I both enjoy.

.:.:.

I name this post this because that's what Walter said when he asked me what I wanted to drink. I kept going through the options and he was like "just tell me!". I guess it doesn't get it across without the accent.

.:.:.

V.R. Mooshe Poor Swiss Recipies;

Carrot Roll: Wrap a carrot in Salami. Yummy and perfect for hikes.

Chocolate Oatmeal: Chocolate cookie at the bottom of your oatmeal, oatmeal, add hot water. And sugar. and butter. eat (as we did in London)

I could describe to you the walk I went on today: but it was only millions and millions of waterfalls of all different types. I'm not even sure how waterfalls work yet, and I don't know who i'd be not embaressed to ask. My dad I guess. He is an engineer.

Dear Papa-
How do waterfalls work?

.:.:.

I had to prove myself as a man yesterday. Andrew yelled "10 minutes till lockout" but Petra wanted to hear me do it. I shook. Then five minutes before I didn't even hear what I said, just reverberated the walls. "So, you can yell" Petra said. I puffed out my penguin chest. Apparently I said please "You must come from a good family" she said.

.:.:.

Yesterday I tried to sabotage my own brain. Who knows why. But the nicest thing was that the mountain wouldn't really let me. I'm getting OCD about hiking. Greedy and Confused, I want all the trails and then get lost and have no idea what I want. sound familiar?
.:.:.

Today I went to a swiss festival! It was for Gimmewald (now population 86!!!) and their skiing awards from last winter. Petra and her daughter Michele both got one. :) Michele and her dad look very similar. Like two cute moles. There were two accordions and one woman bassist who looked like Napoleon Dynamite. I enjoyed their performance so much that one of the accordionists winked at me! Petra kept buying me food and drinks, and as soon as we walked into the tent, they gave me a big welcome and invited me over. It was lovely! When Petra asked me if I wanted another and I said "no" she said "you don't have a choice". :) I guess socializing is very important to the swiss, no matter how, forced it may be. Can't wait to see what's going on there tonight. But man. Fog. Mountain Top. Festival. Bliss?
.:.:.

dipped baskets

I dropped another love baby before I left.

I'm starting a collection of children, with bruises on their heads.
None of them are with me, so they must have left the house
but I never really made one in the first place.

I didn't mean to drop them, well maybe one or two
but they dropped with magnetism so they... fell.

and I never knew the bruises would look so much like roses,
in the sense of that they bloom and then they go.

so I took their wilted eyebrows, and dipped them deep in jelly,
and old Swiss cure to make depression last.

All my girls stayed with me, but the boys forgot their names
so I retell their stories, so I'll have something not to do:


1 is a well known legend
2 I don't remember, but 365 days of tears grows his grave
3 was born five days the same as me, and we grew up that way
4. spun in my veins, and taught me about beetles, but his umbilical cord grew too long so we had to throw him out at 22.
5 the only formed one, came when i was younger-and I couldn't really feed him well because he kept switching boobs, till I had none.
6 we named true
7 came out transparent
8 was made in fire, while his dad was still on drugs, and in fact is still now
breathing
birthing
breathe!

you'll have to ask the doctor why they fall.

.:.:.

(sorry bout the picture repeats but my princess of a cat ate my cord so I can't transfer any pictures. 200 bucks to whoever can send me one!)

.:.:.

The man that winked on me that played these wonderful swiss, wooden and decorated accordians with red flowers like the ones that hang outside of the windows here; that the clouds sometimes water and then the sun burns the leaves. seems like it would be counter productive, right? Anyways, the man that winked at me danced with his face, and slid every neighbor player into the next riff. Mother bass player stood watching it all, and she loved being a part. you could tell. I would too. I did. The first band I will make will include a native american flute for flagstaff, an xylophone for olympia, and an accordian for switzerland. He played as if the accordian was all of his goodness,spilling out as if it was his guts. Boy did I love that, and I fell in love with the player to his right. Apparently they don't mind eye contact in switzerland. I guess in the mountains there isn't much other choice :) I loved that I finally went there. In Switzerland they say something when they clink classes I forget what it is, but if you don' t look that person in the eye...then you have bad sex for seven years! Killer. No peinso tuve una de eso malo Anyways.

Swiss is too swiss
and costa rica is too costa rica
and london is too london

like, I miss the dance of costa rica
but I will always miss the beauty of switzerland
and london we don't miss at all
except that maybe we did it.
I miss the food of costa rica
but I will always miss the fulfillment of switzerland
and arizona has its starry nights and pink skies and bleeding sunsets. how does one think of this?

And I think, maybe I've been trying to recapture some of those first moments

the first time I saw gimmelwald, on the way to Walters. I was 14 and it took my breath away

mine and papa's hike to the waterfall

when we watched Gimmelwald at night from the porch

The first foggy hike to Murren.

I love LOVE that nothing can take this away from me

except Alzeimers. But... it's still was mine.

funny that we always want soemthing of our very own.

:)

I WENT TO GET THE BRATWURST :) :) :)

if something that was not a human
were to look out this window
it would see chinese lanters
on the swiss alps
with sahara desert sand
and be rather confused
"is that, just the whole WORLD out there?"
they would say.



yes,
oh
yes

.:.:.

you know those movies
where it is all fog and nothing but
on top of a wide expansive mountain
and a girl reaches out into it all
and breathes it in
that's my goodnight kiss
tonight
for reals

.:.:.

Dreams of V.R. Mooshe:

I was helping my mom in a dangerous situation I'd rather not get into. I know I had to use my voice but for some reason my throat was dry. It was very hard but I knew I had to, so I woke up yelling. This is the 3rd nightmare I've had here, my dreams are always hitting at the deepest parts of me, and lately have not been very nice. Do you think it's the position I am sleeping in?