"Good Morning, Cinderella"

The Mountain plays a beautiful poker face to moments' inability to form themselves into the perfect love story.
And the cynics mock the hopefuls
While really, it is the cynics who are hopeful, and the hopefuls who are sly
for 12 hours I forgot how to do everything
that I have been doing for 20 years
having to rethink each movement of hand, or step.
my favorite part of the evening
was forgetting how to walk.

There are a few things I thought would always happen, that I have been calculating, preparing, brewing a response to, ever since there was an ever:
1 getting eaten by a bear in the woods
2 getting shot
3 being present for the apocalypse
4 charging someone on a battlefield with a sword
5 being left alone with my father, after my mother never dies
6 terminal illness
7 young death
8 writing a book about how to make it in the acting biz
9 having a pimple that is as large as my entire face
10 having a son
11 stopping the next holocaust by dancing in the middle of the street
12 being a plus size model
13 communicating with people of an ancient civilization
14 love, at first sight


There are a few things I thought would always happen
1 getting eaten by a bear in the woods
2 getting shot
3 being present for the apocalypse
4 charging someone on a battlefield with a sword
5 being left alone with my father, after my mother never dies
6 terminal illness
7 young death
8 writing a book about how to make it in the acting biz
9 having a pimple that is as large as my entire face
10 having a son
11 stopping the next holocaust by dancing in the middle of the street
12 being a plus size model
13 communicating with people of an ancient civilization

Just as I came to realize some of them would never happen, one of them did.

Sji Theone traded me for Budapest
me. Budapest
Budapest. me.

Budapest

I guess the world is bigger than I am
I thought I was the biggest thing out there
(on a good day)

I did the meanest thing. I woke up this morning and hoped it would be cloudy
so Sji Theone would stay. I hoped so hard that it rained, which was his reason for
leaving. (really, his reason was in the clouds). Who else would pick up on the romance of Fog, and Mountain. Who else would have been abandoned by a lover,
stumbling awkwardly out of the fusty closet.
Be as crystal as water,
addiction jealousy
coffee alcohol
to cope with the meanness of life.
While still trying to do something about it.

I would ask the man of my dreams how he coped with being a live and he would say
"I am scared, every moment, I am terrified. I don't deal with it, not at all"
the man of my dreams would be strong enough to be scared.

Sji Theone says "It's all about the experience" and turns the cable cars wheels forward
i hope
that they will actually run
backwards
but i've already hoped for the wrong thing once today. Once again, I hoped for something to be too close, instead of wanting it to see the most beautiful thing in the world

how could i?

I don't know who cleaned the kitchen today, but
she broke every glass
fiercely. Demonstrating
nothing, just Demonstrating


My favorite part of the evening was forgetting how to walk.
I do not think it is all about the experience
I think it's about finding good experiences, and keeping with them.

Maybe I am wrong, wrong, wrong

nothing will ever beat this place, but that is not ever the point.

. . .

and then, of course, I come home to what I thought I always wanted, staring me in the face.

There are some things in life I've thought would always happen.

I had to sleep the feeling off it was so strong. I had to leave it, and let it roll off my feet, onto the mountain. I didn't like
I liked
that feeling.
Hope, the dirty bastard. Fog.